uh, y'know, the sounds that sound good together... sometimes... and sometimes sounds like the disgusting "squish squish" sound Slicker's mom makes whenever she walks
NEW YORK - Amy Winehouse finally let her hair down — and it wasn't pretty. The 24-year-old singer was photographed outside her London home early Sunday barefoot and wearing jeans, a red bra and a pained expression. Her dark hair appeared loose and natural, in contrast to her trademark beehive hairdo.
The photographers immediately vomited on the street after seeing her in a bra. Said one Nigel Von Diggorysworth, "She might sing pretty well, but I'd rather see the Queen Mum naked!"
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Her publicist, Tracey Miller, told The Associated Press on Tuesday that Winehouse, stirred from sleep at 6 a.m. by "a lot of noise," had stepped "outside her flat to investigate and was met by photographers."
"She was startled," Miller said.
Winehouse recently canceled all concerts and public appearances for the rest of the year on doctor's orders. Her 25-year-old husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, was ordered held in custody in London last month on charges stemming from a case in which he is accused of assaulting a barman in June. Fielder-Civil is blind and suffers severe retardation, and had been convinced that by beating Winehouse with a broom handle, he could make her more attractive. Unfortunately, being blind, he beat the shit out of the first person around who had hairy legs.
"Trying to deal with everything she's dealing with and (she's) just under all this pressure now ... it's like her every move (is) being monitored," Miller told the AP.
Winehouse, who won critical acclaim for her second album, "Back to Black," which includes the hit song "Rehab," has become a tabloid fixture recently with her lackluster performances, health fears and reports of alleged drug use. In August, she spent time in rehab and canceled a series of dates in Britain, the United States and Canada.
Winehouse can be best described as a woman with an amazing voice whose future is limited due to her strange penchant for recording songs that sound like old Motown joints, but with a level of profanity that makes her Flantdig mother blush. Talented or not, she's doomed to be a novelty act just for that. It's also believed that, in addition to the string of Flantdig cousins and siblings interbreeding over the past thirty generations to produce such a level of fugliness, she may be the direct descendant of the mythical Medusa.
The real news here: this was on the Associated Press wire as an important entertainment story. What the hell happened here? A bunch of paparazzi surround a house, and the resident comes out barefoot? This is actually worse than the constant updates on Britney Spears. At least that twat is a train wreck.
There's not a central "Amy Winehouse is incredibly fugly" thread, but this one's under music, so I pick it.
She just won Record of the Year. My first thought was "That bint beat the fucking Foo Fighters? Fucking stupid RIAA." But then they showed her, and I have never seen a more authentic look of surprise on the face of anyone at the Grammys. The woman looked floored. Obviously, the petrifying effects of her gaze were wisely censored by CBS, so I am not turned to stone. But her shock was so genuine that you couldn't help but feel good for her.
Doesn't mean I think she deserved it, but it's nice to see someone not give a conceited act of feigned humility on an awards show for once.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
I saw a thing saying "Up next: The Grammys!" when flipping through channels.
It was mediocre. For most of the time, it was on, and I was half-listening. Foo Fighters performed, but they did a duet with some fucking contest winner. John Legend and Fergie dueted on some Broadway-sounding number, which was pathetic, since Legend didn't sing a note and was totally wasted, and Fergie proved she can't do nothing more than the occasional hook. Alicia Keys dueted with a young Frank Sinatra, and I've made clear how much I hate dueting with dead people. Tom Hanks said the Band got a lifetime Grammy, then went on to introduce fucking Cirque de Soleil without playing even one note of their music. The only number that was worthwhile was John Fogerty, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Little Richard. Jerry Lee was really showing his age, though.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
This is my third time trying to post this image. Every time I try, my computer shuts down and the electricity in my house temporarily goes off. And then my dog starts barking and the lady who lives across the street from me starts having a seizure.
Looking like that, we have to hope her next song will be, "They tried to get me into massive reconstructive surgery, I said no, no, no." We know what happened when she said that about going to rehab.
She'd still be nasty enough to give you herpes at a distance of twelve kilometers, but at least you can put pictures of her up without having to include a warning that your post contains images that may be unsuitable for some viewers.
Can one of the mods do something with that post? I just ate.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
Something about that picture makes it difficult to look away. It's as if it is a test of manhood to look at it for more than a split second, and then brag about it to your friends. "I stared down Amy Winehouse for a full 15 seconds!" "oohhhhhhhhh!!"
