Star Wars Prequels suck!

[Eternal Padawan]

Criminy, even the topic about the Prequels Sucking sucks. Can we get some semi clad underwear models in here to liven the place up?

[Perpantor]

NO!!

BUT ENJOY SOME MORE PREQUEL PURPLE!!



THIS I COMMAND!!

[Ran]

If you get a chance, listen to "THe Unholy Trilogy" by Brian Posehn .

George Lucas is going to fuck you, then put on a Greedo mask and do it again, but this time he'll call it the Special Edition.

[Eternal Padawan]

Brian Posehn shops at the same comic shop I do. I say hey to him every once in a while.

[Ran]

Brian Posehn shops at the same comic shop I do. I say hey to him every once in a while.

Cool. XM Comedy was played "The Unholy Trilogy" while I was on my way home yesterday...after reading how unhappy we all are with Hasbro and idiots at the other site, I was laughing my ass off.

Greedo came first.

[shroba fett]

Why do you guys hate the Star Wars movies so much. here is what is cool about the Star Wars movies! 1.Darth Vader 2. Jango Fett 3. Rancor 4. Jabba the Hutt 5. The Death Star 6. Lightsabers. 7. Yoda. 8. X-wings blowing up the death star. 9. Han Solo. 10. Al the aliens in the bar. 11. R2-D2 12. Sandpeopel 13. Stormtroopers. 14. Swinging on the rope inthe death star 15. Speeder bikes. 16. Podracing 17. Jawas 18. Ninja Clonetroopers. 19. Jedis with lightsabers 20. Luke Skywaler. 21. Chewbacca 22. Lando 23. The Millenium Falcon. 24. The Force 25. Princess Liea. And thats just the first 25 things. And not even counting the toys and video games wich are totally awesome! And Darth Maul is number 26!! I love Star Wars!

[Ran]

Two things.

I've heard the phrase "It is what the Star Wars Prequels should have been" at least twice now by different people when reviewing movies. The first time was kind of funny, but I see it getting old and meaningless really quick.

and

I heard another comedian making fun of the prequels, but I can't remember his name. Prescott something maybe?

He said he realized he was a geek when he started thinking about time travel. Would he go back to the JFK assassination? No. He'd go back to 1993 and talk to George Lucas as he was writing the prequels.

George: Do you like Darth Vader?
He would say yes.
George: Well, you get to see him as a kid.
But I don't care about that.
George: Do you like Boba Fett?
Yes, he was cool.
George: Well, you get to see him as a kid, too.
But I don't care about that, either.
George: Did you like the Death Star?
Oh yeah, do you get to see it blowing up stuff again?
George: No, but you get to see Darth Vader watching it get build for a couple seconds at the end.
Then George would ask him if he wants some ice cream. He would say sure. George would hand him a bag of rock salt. Why rock salt? Because when you mix it with some other stuff, you get ice cream. Then he says "I DON'T CARE WHERE SHIT COMES FROM!" and hits Lucas in the head with a shovel.

That's pretty much it, but it was funnier when the professional comedian said it.

[Rollo Tomassi]

That was Patton Oswalt. Man he's hilarious, and his Lucas impersonation is great. You have to actually hear him doing it.

[Seven]

That was Patton Oswalt. Man he's hilarious, and his Lucas impersonation is great. You have to actually hear him doing it.

Ditto! Me and Bumcake were listening to him on the way to bowling Saturday night, his Lucas impersonation is spot on!

He said he'd go back in time to kill George Lucas so he couldn't make the prequels.

[vynsane]

patton oswalt is teh awesome.

he had a bit about how nick nolte was up for the part of han solo

luke that's not a goddamn space sta guuuuuuuuuuuuh...

[Ran]

That's the guy. Thanks, Rollo.

[kidhuman]

Spence does a good Lucas

[Sleazer]

Patton Oswalk probably ate the whole bag of rock salt, that gluttonous fuck.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Seeing Darth Vader as a sad little kid? Good thing he was always portrayed as a badass throughout the entire original trilogy right through to the end, and his son never wanted to bring him "back" to the light side, implying that he used to be a good person.

Really though, that was pretty funny and I like Patton Oswalt, but I still like the prequels more than I like him.

[anarky]

Senor JabbaJohnL: vynsane.com's official token Lucas apologist.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the story of Anakin falling. I just think the execution of the films is pretty bad. (It's weird that TPM is probably the worst made of the bunch, yet it feels the most like SW and is probably my favorite.) But the novelizations for all three are quite solid, and show what could've been.

It bugs the shit out of me to hear Lucas saying, "The fans won't like it, because they have unrealistic expectations." No, the fans won't like it because you were once unquestionably the greatest filmmaker out there, but you listened to fucktarded yes-men like Rick McCallum stroking your cock for so long that you somehow lost the ability to make films, because you'd only listen to people who praised you no matter how lousy your work was. You needed Francis Ford Coppola to come back, like he did when you were making the original Star Wars, and kick your ass until you cut out stupid shit like fifteen full minutes of Luke and Leia and Han walking around the Death Star, simply whistling and acting nonchalant whenever Stormtroopers walked by.

The fans won't like it because once you made groundbreaking special effects to tell your story. Now, you make up story to fit the special effects, which aren't so groundbreaking anymore.

We just want something that is even half as good and universal as the work you once did, the work that these new shitty movies are sequels to. Is that really so much to ask?

You're such a douchebag that you let some guy make cartoons based on the part of the story you implied would be told and doesn't appear in the movies, but when fans praised his work more than your own, you decided to make a larger version using cut-rate animators and your own story, while even giving the fucking thing a theatrical release, simply to try to overshadow him.

You wouldn't take "no" as an answer to incorporating aliens into Indiana Jones, and pressured Spielberg and Ford into it, then are apparently using it as a launching pad for your own supposed sequel starring that talentless piece of shit from Transformers.

George Lucas, there's a reason people hate you now. There's a reason they are the same people who shat their pants the first time they saw Star Wars. No, it's not that they became jaded. It's that you became the cinematic equivalent of the retarded kid who sits in the back of the classroom and talks to himself and who no one wants to be around because he always smells like piss.