the vynsane asylum

Because, on the recommendation of your doctor, you purchased a blood pressure cuff for use at home today.



First reading: 128/84, pulse at 68 beats per minute. Not dead yet, fuckers.

Well, I recently thought to myself after seeing a hot MILF, "Damn, she looks really good for her age."
Then I realized she was in fact about my age, maybe younger.

At some point, part of my daily routine became taking two ibuprofen to get thru the day.

Next Friday I will have been a police officer for 20 years. I used to look around & gravitate toward the "old cranky guy" on the shift, wherever I was working, because I felt like if I could get on their good side I was doing things the right way. I haven't seen any of those guys around for nearly 5 years when I think about it. I think they're me.

Had I stayed in the Air Force for 20 years, I would have retired 7 years ago.

When you feel that 'eating in' at a fast food restaurant is beneath you.

Had my annual physical today. Got prescribed tamsulosin aka FLOMAX for my prostate. Fun.
It’s also my youngest’s 17th birthday. So my “children” are all adults, or close to it.

But you want a real kick in the nuts?
This year is to 1980 what 1980 was to 1940. 4 fucking decades. Feel old bitch.

Tom Foolery wrote:This year is to 1980 what 1980 was to 1940. 4 fucking decades. Feel old bitch.

God damn you to Hell.

Sorry. As an old fart, I should say, "Goldang you to Heck!"

Now get offa my lawn.

Man that's crazy. But 1980 does feel like forever ago.

Kids turning 21 this year were born when The Phantom Menace came out.

I didn't find the 1980 to 1940 comparison that shocking because I've heard someone say that the first Gulf War and Vietnam are to the Millennials what Vietnam and WWII were to us.

But the TPM kids being 21 is kind of scary.

Aka my first kid. Born a few weeks after TPM came out. There are kids here at the police college that are younger. Also, one of the kids that's graduating soon is the GRANDson of one my my former bosses.

We will start becoming grandfathers ourselves soon.
Ooh! Who wants to bet on which of us it will be? My money’s on JJ. Tee Hee.

My son is doing everything in his limited power to prove you right. Condoms, you little bastard, condoms!

A couple women I work with are about a year older than me. They are both grandmothers. My oldest kid is 18 and I'm still getting used to the fact that she is driving and in college. The fact that people my age are grandparents kind of freaks me out a little.